A FULL LIFE …

Charlie Badenhop

It is my pleasure to introduce the wisdom of my friend, Charlie Badenhop, on our pages. Charlie is the internationally recognized creator of the human potential discipline of Seishindo . He is also a highly respected life-coach, practitioner of self-relations psychotherapy, and neuro-linguistic programming. He first published the essay below in his Seishindo newsletter, Pure Heart, Simple Mind. I find it brings a very important message to our readers. R.R.

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“A FULL LIFE IS NOT NECESSARILY

A LONG LIFE”

by

Charlie Badenhop

Posted here with permission. All rights reserved.

Are you living your life appreciating what you DO have, or are you lamenting what still seems to be missing?

Three years ago the eight year old daughter of a friend died in a freak accident at school. My friend was devastated and I could not think of any wise words that might console him.

As the weeks rolled by my friend slipped into an ever deeper sense of despair, and nothing anyone said seemed to lift his spirit.

After a few months time he went out-of-town on a business trip, and on the train ride back he engaged in conversation with the woman sitting next to him. The woman sat there and nodded her head often as my friend talked about the death of his daughter. He reported to me that he had the sense of talking and talking and talking, until he finally felt like he had nothing more to say.

As my friend came to a natural state of rest, the woman nodded her head one more time as she took a deep breath, and then said the following, “I can very much feel your pain, and I understand the loss of your child must be devastating.”

“At the same time,” she said, “I wonder if your pain would not be lessened if you celebrated the life your daughter did have.”

“You told me about your daughter’s sense of awe the first time you took her to the ocean, and how you carried her in your arms as you waded out into the water.”

“You also spoke about the many times she sat on your lap and told you about the magical adventures she had during the course of her day.”

“Perhaps the sweetest story you shared was how you told your daughter every night how much you loved her as you tucked her into bed.”

“I’m wondering,” the woman said, “What is it that leads you to believe you and your daughter did not live a full and glorious life together?”

“Is it because she died at eight years old and not at eighty? Certainly it would seem that the quality of one’s life is not tied to the length of one’s life.”

“I would like to gently suggest that you and your daughter did live a full and complete life together. She just didn’t live as long as you had hoped for and expected.”

As the train neared the station the woman continued speaking. “I am seventy-two years old, and in looking back on my life I don’t feel I have shared with anyone, the depth of experience and love you and your daughter had together.”

“On one hand this makes me deeply sad. On the other hand, it wakes me up to the fact that my life is not yet finished. I can begin today to live the life I truly desire.”

“This is the realization that your experience has helped me to understand, and for this wonderful gift I thank you deeply.”

The woman smiled as she stood up, preparing to exit the train. “None of us know how long we have to live. No one has control over the length of their life.”

“The quality of our life on the other hand, is something you can ensure on a daily basis. An emotionally fulfilling life is a complete life, regardless of how many years you live. A life without love seems to take forever to end.”

“We’ll do well to appreciate what we do have, rather than lamenting about what we don’t.”

To the readers of this [blog post], I gently suggest you consider how you want to live your life, in order to ensure that your time on earth is fulfilling and complete.