Posted in Essay, Spiritual Practice, Terri Stewart

Finding Sacred Space In the Other

This week in my church, it has been filled with conflict and dissension. That makes for a tough week! Let me clarify – structurally, from the upper echelon of the decision-making bodies, there has been a reinforcement of codified discrimination and what I think is just pig-headed wrongness. Ha! I am not feeling very charitable at all. I always have the choice of staying within the system or leaving. But leaving does not really move the ball forward for me. Why? Because my basic anthropology is that we are all connected. Even if I left this system and surrounded myself with folks that were just like me (how irritating that would be!), I am still connected to the people that I find the most frustrating.

Harrumph.

Then, I discovered this exercise written by Troy Bronson in his book Drawn In. It is an exercise for integration and forgiveness. Or perhaps forgiveness and integration. I am fairly certain that full integration is not possible without forgiveness! At any rate, I have adapted his exercise and now I offer it to you as a spiritual practice to aid in integrating those people that drive us bananas.

Take a piece of paper and fold it in half twice so that you have four quadrants. In the bottom right list your enemies: those who mean harm to you and your family; those who are politically opposed to what you are for; those who persecute you and others associated with your causes and passions.

In the bottom left list your friends: advocates for those associated with your religious, political, or social causes. Write all of this so that both groups are at the bottom of the page, with only a crease separating them.

On the Horizon (c) 2013, Terri Stewart
On the Horizon
(c) 2013, Terri Stewart

Now, draw a horizontal line to separate both groups from the empty top half of the page. Read this adapted version of Psalm 121.

I look to the hills!
Where will I find help?
It will come from the immense force
that created the stars, sun, sky,
And earth.

You are protected by Love,
And Love will not sleep
Or stumble
Or snooze.
Love always is.
Protecting you,
Standing at your right side,

The Tree shades us from the sun
The sun will not harm you
Nor will the
Moon.
Protecting you,
Keeping you safe from
All
Dangers.

The incredible creative force
That was, that is, that shall be
Is with you.
Now and always.
Wherever you go.

Reflect on the line, “I look to the hills!” and imagine that the line you’ve drawn is a horizon line made by hills way off at the distance. Imagine your friends and your enemies looking into a future where all things are met with love, justice, and mercy. Where the separating walls between these two groups are healed and taken down. Where the grievances are forgiven. Where they gaze lightly upon one another and see beloved rather than the other.

Now, offer your thoughts to love and reconciliation choosing to step forward into the hills that were once a divider, but now, as we all step into them, cocoon us in beauty.

Adapted from Ephesians 2:11-22

Don’t forget that you used to be the other! The enemy! They used to call you crude and rude. You were a foreigner in this land with no understanding of tradition. You had no hope and were held far away from life giving love.

Creative, responsive love unites all in peace! Breaking down the laws that separate us – that separated us. Following religious rules that are not grounded in loving kindness is not helpful! We all suffer, feel pain. But we are all one, one body united together. We are in this one life together.

You are no longer a stranger or an enemy! You are beloved. Just as those you persecute are beloved. All who went before you are the foundation for who you are today. And it is held together by Love and grown into holy ground where Loving Kindness dwells.

You are part of that holy ground.
You are holy ground.
They are holy ground.
We are
Holy
Ground.

There is no near and no far.
There is only here.
Be one.

Shalom and Amen,

Terri

© 2013, post , Terri Stewart, All rights reserved

terriREV. TERRI STEWART is Into the Bardo’s  Sunday chaplain, senior content editor, and site co-administrator. She comes from an eclectic background and considers herself to be grounded in contemplation and justice. She is the Director and Founder of the Youth Chaplaincy Coalition that serves youth affected by the justice system. As a graduate of Seattle University’s School of Theology and Ministry, she earned her Master’s of Divinity and a Post-Master’s Certificate in Spiritual Direction. She is a contributing author to the Abingdon Worship Annual. (The 2014 issue just released!)

Her online presence is “Cloaked Monk.” This speaks to her grounding in contemplative arts and the need to live it out in the world. The cloak is the disguise of normalcy as she advocates for justice and peace. You can find her at www.cloakedmonk.com, www.twitter.com/cloakedmonk, and www.facebook.com/cloakedmonk.  To reach her for conversation, send a note to cloakedmonk@outlook.com

Posted in Meditation, Spiritual Practice, Terri Stewart

Meditation on the Shadow

shadow reflection self portraitI have been reflecting on shadow work a lot lately.  The shadow is that part of ourselves that we often keep hidden. It was especially prompted by Naomi’s images and thoughts in her post “Black and White (or not).” The world is shades of gray as our shadows often seem to be.

Physically, our shadows take on the colors of what they are cast on. We stand ‘here,’ the shadow projects ‘there,’ and our shadow is integrated with rock or grass or concrete or sofa–with the barest connection with our embodied self. Sometimes our shadows hang on to us by the barest toe. Sometimes we are connected fully.

The shadow is something darker, hidden, taking on different tones and different shapes than our embodied selves. But ultimately, it is a projection of our own self. What we don’t want to see in ourselves, we push into our shadow.

One of the most valuable lessons I had in seminary was a discussion of the Johari Window. It is really pretty simple! There are four ways to be known in the world (each one pane of a four paned window):

  1. Things we know about ourselves that nobody else knows
  2. Things others know about us that we don’t know
  3. Things we know and others know
  4. Things nobody knows

Our job is to shrink the part of our window that is “things nobody knows.”

γνῶθι σεαυτόν – Know Thyself, on the Temple of Apollo at Delphi

I’d like to offer a meditation on accepting the shadow self. Please only do this if you feel safe.

Find a comfortable place.  If you are sitting, ground your feet restfully, but firmly. If you are laying, sink down towards the earth. Let the earth buoy you and hold you through this exercise.

You may close your eyes if that is comfortable for you or you may keep them open. If your eyes are open, let your gaze fall gently onto a nearby spot—not particularly noticing anything about the spot, but just accepting the spot as your companion.

Let your gaze turn inward. Take an inventory. Do you feel anxious? Excited? Relaxed? Where is the energy stirring? Is your mind whirring? Or is it in your solar plexus? Or lower? What energy are you bringing to your meditation in your body? Greet the energy and invite it into your journey.

Pause and acknowledge the sacredness of joining with your energy. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Continue your inventory. Moving beyond the physical. What are all the great things you see about yourself? Your creativity? Your love? Your compassion? Mercy? Analysis? Quietness? Strength? Acceptance? Meticulousness? Acknowledge these beautiful and wonderful things and give thanks to them. Breathe in. Breathe out. Now, let them go. They will still be with you. Consider them your backbone. Holding you firmly in place, but behind you.

Reconsider your connectedness to the earth. Let her energy support you while sinking in. Reconsider your gifts—the great things about you. Let them provide structure to your body. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Before you, now, is an empty room. Just you and the energy you have brought with you. The energy from your body. The energy from the earth. The support from your gifts. A formidable group.

See the shadow.

How are you connected to the shadow? Fingertip? Toes? Fully? Check in with yourself and stop here if that feels right to you.

What contrasting energy is pulsing in the shadow? Is it a mirror of your own body’s energy? Or is it different? What is the shadow projecting onto you? Does it make you seem tall? Or small? What color does the shadow take on? What is it drawing from its surroundings? Check in with yourself and stop here if that feels right to you.

Open a dialogue with your shadow. Something like, “I see you. I know you are part of me. What do you have to teach me today?”

Listen to your shadow. Breathe in, breathe out. Check in with yourself and stop here if that feels right to you. This will be different for everybody.

If you feel brave, offer your shadow love. Compassion. Acceptance. Acknowledgement. What does that feel like? Check in with your body and see where your energy is stirring. Is your heart chakra pulsing? Or maybe your shadow has some energy swirling? Check in with yourself and stop here if that feels right to you.

Seeing your shadow, connecting, dialoguing, loving—continue to offer love and imagine love emanating towards your shadow from your energy, from the energy of the earth, and from the gifts that you bring that stabilize you. Imagine the love pouring out everywhere as light. Light as soft as a glowing sunset or as strong as a summer’s day. Whatever light is needed. As the light increases, the shadow steps closer and makes one more connection with you. Maybe just a pinky. Check in with yourself and stop here if that feels right to you.

Now, it is time to close the dialogue with the shadow.

Offer your loving kindness to the shadow. Bring your hands together over your heart chakra in a prayer position. Let your inner gaze fall gently on your shadow. Breathe in, breathe out. As you gaze at your shadow, offer Namaste.

Bring the inner light down to an inner, restful darkness. Let your shadow leave your full awareness, knowing you are that much more connected and that you will be back.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Feel your gifts that strengthened you. Thank them for being with you. Bid your gifts Namaste.

Feel the earth that supported you. Thank the earth for providing support. Bid the earth Namaste.

Feel the energy in your body that journeyed with you. Thank yourself for being present. Bring to yourself, Namaste.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Namaste.

Shalom and Amen,

~Terri

© 2013, post & photo, Terri Stewart, All rights reserved

Terri StewartTERRI STEWART is Into the Bardo’s  Sunday chaplain, senior content editor, and site co-administrator. She comes from an eclectic background and considers herself to be grounded in contemplation and justice. She is the Director and Founder of the Youth Chaplaincy Coalition that serves youth affected by the justice system. As a recent graduate of Seattle University’s School of Theology and Ministry, she earned her Master’s of Divinity and a Post-Master’s Certificate in Spiritual Direction with honors and is a rare United Methodist student in the Jesuit Honor Society, Alpha Sigma Nu. She is a contributing author to the Abingdon Worship Annual.

Her online presence is “Cloaked Monk.” This speaks to her grounding in contemplative arts (photography, mandala, poetry) and the need to live it out in the world. The cloak is the disguise of normalcy as she advocates for justice and peace. You can find her at www.cloakedmonk.com, www.twitter.com/cloakedmonk, and www.facebook.com/cloakedmonk.  To reach her for conversation, send a note to cloakedmonk@outlook.com