A little secret: I am preaching on Sunday. So today’s inspiration is gleaned from random thoughts about what I have been studying. And I have been studying names. In the Gospel of Matthew, the story of Jesus’ beginning has an angel telling Joseph the name for this baby: Jesus. Jesus is the English form of Yeshua which is a form of Joshua. Yep. Joshua. Where have we heard that before? Joshua is the name of the guy in Hebrew scripture who takes the people into the promised land. How is that for being saddled with a name? Joshua also means, arguably, “God saves.” Additionally, Matthew references the Book of Isaiah and the name Immanuel, “God with us.”
And I think being saddled with a name like Terri is a problem! Well, I don’t really think it is a problem, but in second grade, I had problems. My reading teacher put masking tape on each reading book so she could write our names onto our book. I don’t know why, perhaps because I was as boisterous then as I am now, but she put “Terrible Terri” onto my second grade reader. I was distraught. But, being ever so bashful, I said, “no, you need to change this.” And then it became Terrific Terri. Just goes to show that advocacy has always been in my personality. But I was hurt that a teacher would label me as Terrible.
Naming, labeling, creates expectations that can hinder us or help us in our journey. I think the name “Terrible Terri” is a hindrance! But the name “God Saves”… well, it could go either way. You either live up to that name or you become completely overwhelmed. Or maybe even both! It can be both an inspiration and an absolutely terrifying expectation. I wonder if Jesus ever worried about getting it wrong? For example, he was out in the country, and this woman runs up to him asking for him to heal her daughter and he says, “I did not come for your kind…you’re like the dogs underfoot at the dinner table!” Ouch. I hope he at least winced at that one. He did not live up to the expectation, at that moment, of being the perfect picture of saving grace. But he grew into it as he changed his mind. (Matt 15:21-28) and included the very ordinary mother and her daughter in his ministry. That’s kind of inspiring, isn’t it? A picture of someone willing to listen, hear, and change. We don’t get much of that in our daily life. Witness: CNN, MSNBC, FOX. Maybe that is one place where “God saves.” When we engage in a relationship, listen to each other, hear what is said, and change for the better. That might be new growth. That might be creating sacred space. Can I get an Amen?
My son, Colin, is transgender. His original name was Caitlyn. Caitlyn means “pure.” Pure is quite a lot to live up to. When Colin came out, he chose his name. He chose Colin for two primary reasons-he likes the name and it was close enough to Caitlyn that it would be easier for people to make the transition. Colin has several options in its meaning, but since Caitlyn is of Irish origin, we decided to continue with the Irish origin (much to the Scottish family’s dismay!). Irish-ly speaking, Colin means “peaceful dove.” Hmm. I don’t think Colin is quite the peaceful dove, but maybe he will live into it. In fact, upon reflection, I think he has lived into it in many ways. He may not be a quiet, peaceful dove. But he does advocate for right relationship between people and has zero tolerance for bullying. Can you exuberantly advocate for peacefulness? I think so.
We finally took Colin in to get his name changed legally. The judge looked at the paperwork “Caitlyn” to “Colin,” looked at me, asked me if all the signatures were valid and if this was something “she” wanted. I answered, “My son desires to change his name to Colin.” The judge blinked. Looked back down at his paperwork and then decreed it so. Then Colin got 100 pats on the back as he left court. And not one negative word was said. He was beaming from ear to ear. This was his naming ceremony. The moment in time where he stepped into who he really was. It was important. There is something sacred in claiming yourself and knowing your own identity, your own story. There is also something very difficult in the process. And, it is ultimately a very loving act. Can you love yourself enough to know your name? Not the name slapped onto your second grade reader, but the name you choose? Is your name Inspiration? Compassion? Love? Challenge? Maybe your name is a complex amalgam of inspirational-compassion-that-challenges-while-whispering. (Well, I would not whisper, but you take my meaning?!)
What name do you claim? What name do you want to jettison? What name has claimed you?
Shalom and Amen!
~Terri
…
(c) 2013, post, Terri Stewart
(c) 2009, photo, Paula Bailey, cc licensed 2.0, http://www.flickr.com/photos/32625013@N00/4195762309/
REV. TERRI STEWART is Into the Bardo’s Sunday chaplain, senior content editor, and site co-administrator. She comes from an eclectic background and considers herself to be grounded in contemplation and justice. She is the Director and Founder of the Youth Chaplaincy Coalition that serves youth affected by the justice system. As a graduate of Seattle University’s School of Theology and Ministry, she earned her Master’s of Divinity and a Post-Master’s Certificate in Spiritual Direction. She is a contributing author to the Abingdon Worship Annual. (The 2014 issue just released!)
Her online presence is “Cloaked Monk.” This speaks to her grounding in contemplative arts and the need to live it out in the world. The cloak is the disguise of normalcy as she advocates for justice and peace. You can find her at www.beguineagain.com ,www.twitter.com/cloakedmonk, and www.facebook.com/cloakedmonk. To reach her for conversation, send a note to cloakedmonk@outlook.com
The BeZine 
i hate my name too 🙂
have hated it since reading the story of the woman who first bore that name, time has changed my opinion of her but still hate my name. Dont change it because name doesnot matters that much to me.
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Indeed, there can be so much in a name to live up to or live down. I had my son when I was very young and named him for his father and grandfather. Had I been more mature and thoughtful, I would not have done that. It has the potential to set a person up. Fortunately, nothing bad came out of it. He’s defined the names for himself and has not carried either the onus of expection or the pressure to live anything down. Nonetheless, he dislikes his first name because it’s common and his middle name because it’s terribly uncommon. On the other hand, his name means “big hearted,” that – and a refined mind – are his central charateristics.
Terri – or Theresa? My sister was Theresa and often went by TerrI. I love both those names, maybe just because they remind me of her. The name Theresa as you probably already know means to “reap” or “harvest.” There are two extraordinary saints of the Church named Theresa. One was a great mystic and the other was the essence of kindness and practicality. Wow! Talk about something to live up to … and you seem to be doing just that with your life.
It is interesting that my sister’s name means “harvest” and my real first name (which I don’t use because Americans can’t pronounce it properly – it’s a derivative of Gaia) means “earth.” I don’t think my mom did that on purpose, but there’s a certain synchronicity there.
Be well, Terri. Best wishes for a wonderful 2014 and great Jan. 1 with your family.
Many blessings,
Jamie
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I remember asking my parents if Terri was short for Theresa. I was hoping “yes!” so I could claim a sophisticated name, I suppose. But the answer was “No. It’s just Terri.” Eww. Just Terri. For a while that irritated me. But I’ve grown into being “Just Terri.” And have added on my middle name sometimes so that it is Terrijane. Jane is my middle name but it is also my mom’s name. She died 20 years ago and it keeps her with me, I suppose.
Thanks for you thoughts, your leadership, and your wishes!
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You are quite welcome. Even Terri has it’s dignity (okay, I know I’m boring. I love etemology) from the Old German for the people’s leader or ruler. And Jane, the feminine of John, God’s grace. What a fine name: Terrijane. Lovely and suitable too. We might say, “one who leads the people to God’s grace.”
🙂
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For my 40th birthday I had a re-naming ceremony in which I jettisoned the use of my first name, Nancy, and became known by my middle name — the one with which I always identified– of Leigh. It felt so powerful. Twenty-one years later I still turn my head sometimes if someone shouts “Nancy” but other than a few family members and old friends, everyone knows me as Leigh and that’s who I am. Great post!
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Naming is so important! One of the young people I work with wants to change the last name to Foster. Why? Because it encompasses their identity and hopes of who they want to be … a Foster Parent.
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I named my son Joshua…definitely intending him to be inspired. He likes it for entirely different reasons. Name and identity both go through so much evolution. I have “grown up” into my very ancient, grown up name (Priscilla), but it took a long time. 😉
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I suppose I don’t have to “grow up” into the name of Terri since that seems like an abbreviated, younger name (when compared to Theresa!). But I have added more to my identity and names/words as time goes on. TerriJane, CloakedMonk.
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I am from a long line of “Backwards People”. This can be a hard road, especially if one is caught in the “wrong” gender. It is also a sacred road, and for many, a path of great blessing and power – of closeness to the Creator. It can also be a way of immense responsibility. Blessings to your son.
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Thank you for your thoughts! I do feel it is a blessing and responsibility for Colin. At a young age, people have said that he has a “old soul.” Hopefully he will use his powers for good! 😉
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Growing up, I was Vicki. My sister called me “icky vicki.” When I went in the convent it was changed to Rose. And when I left I chose to take my full name, Victoria,…most likely rebelling against earlier negative memories. I have come to like my name now.
May your son be blessed, Terri.
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I actually use my middle name a lot now–in conjunction with my first name so it becomes TerriJane. mooshed together. Jane is my real middle name and Jane is/was my mother’s name. She died 20 years ago but she is still such a great part of my life!
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Terri, this was an interesting article filled with good information. It all went out the window for me when you said: “My son Colin is transgender.” At that moment the “names went out the window” and that became the most important sentence. All I could think of was how lucky you are to have him! And he, you!
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We are lucky to have each other! Thank you for your support, I really appreciate it.
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Terri,
Great, provocative post.
I’ve often wondered why it is we human’s respond so deeply to names, classifications, titles . . . My only conclusion (at this point in my life – it may change) is our longing to identify with God, a longing for spiritual connection in the symbolic form of a name.
This feeling/thought has come to me only in the last few years. I’m a a late-blooming follower of Baha’i spiritual tenants. I started repeating The Greatest Name (God), “Yá Bahá’u’l-Abhá” * 95 times as a daily ritual. Names, which were once very significant to me, have lost their importance. Very strange to me but true.
Thank you for helping me reflect on and put into context my own experience!
* “. . . an invocation which can be translated either as ‘O Glory of Glories’ or ‘O Glory of the All-Glorious.’ The word glory used in this connection is a translation of the Arabic term Bahá, the name of Bahá’u’lláh.” (the last Manifestation of God as believed by Baha’is).
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I have taken to saying the Aramaic “Our Father in Heaven” as a breath prayer at several points in the day. It is
Abwoon d’bwashmayah
I am struck by the sound similarities of Abwoon and Abha. Neil Klontz wrote a book, “Prayer of the Cosmos” where he explicates the Aramaic meaning. Here’s what he has to say about Abwoon:
According to the mystical science of sounds and letters, common to both Aramaic and Hebrew, the word abwoon points beyond our changing concepts of “male” and “female” to a cosmic birthing process. At this level of interpretation, abwoon may be said to have four parts to its sound-meaning:
A: the Absolute, the Only Being, the pure Oneness and Unity, source of all power and stability (echoing to the ancient sacred sound AL and the Aramaic word for God – Alaha – literally, “the Oneness”).
bw: a birthing, a creation, a flow of blessing, as if from the “interior” of this Oneness to us.
oo: the breath or spirit that carries this flow, echoing the sound of breathing and including all forces we now call magnetism, wind, electricity, and more. This sound is linked to the Aramaic phrase rukha d’qoodsha, which was later translated as “Holy Spirit.”
n: the vibration of this creative breath from Oneness as it touches and interpenetrates form. There must be a substance that this force touches, moves, and changes. This sound echoes the earth, and the body here vibrates as we intone the whole name slowly: Ah-bw-oo-n.
Your Greatest Name reminded me of this! And now this further reminds me of the connectivity of all.
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Indeed, we are all connected – two of my favorite ‘Abdu’l-Baha quotes:
“See the truth in all religions, for truth is in all & truth is one!”
“God has created the world as one—the boundaries are marked out by man.”
I really enjoy your posts!
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Great quotes! & Thank you!
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