Elusive Peace | David Kristjanson-Gural

the weapons inside

after all this
there’s a funny thing
if only we were
able to say

enough really
send an army to protect
and they’ll kill everyone
who wants to make peace

and only this
tell-along sentence
this one thing that
might someday help

it’s a call to hold
the sore parts
it’s knowing we all
are somehow afraid

to say we are afraid
that causes the hurt
put down your weapons
not outside weapons

the weapons inside

know you can be held
and safe and then
all together we’ll
hold the furor

all the rage
and hold
and cause
to save

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the things you want

i’ve never known anything
like how you’ve loved
me like wind and rain
that comes up and you
can’t get out of the way
and it hopes to lift the roof
and the roof holds somehow
but you want it to give

the way water rushes downhill
finds hollows and stories
and ways to be useful
and washes things hurts
and regret like sand
and gravity

i folded myself into you
and i’ve never regretted
the choice to be witness
to what came up within us

the way i lay on the lawn
let the manitoba stars obey me
the way the body obeys me
the way the world obeys me
the way we have to find peace
with not knowing

it’s funny the things you want
that can’t help you
and the things you want
that can save you
and how hard it is
to tell the difference

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not for sale

i’m telling you
i’m not for sale
not the way
you imagine

sure i can be bought
with a sunrise
or a lakeshore
slap slap slap of
wave and sunshine
that delicious warm
come-as-you-are
peace of mind
wandering in midst
of trees

why not

but you’re asking me
to contribute
to the destruction
of my home base
where i ran as a kid
to be safe

olli olli all come free

you’re asking me
to betray a double love
to throw on the fire
the sticks of my youth
to cast into flames
everything i hoped
to bequeath to the
the beings i created
who mean well
everything

to say to my nimble cousins
who hid and ran from
my attempted tag who
trembled in aspen and
stood still in pine never
betraying the other
and hoping to make it
home free

to say to me
give up this place
put down your fight
it won’t happen

i am for sale
the way the wind
is for sale when it
catches me when
i cast myself out
on the water
when i stack
the beach stones
just for love

i’m for sale
when i ride
the gelding
down to the shore
on a forgotten
road on a
forgotten day
at daybreak

and the sun
well it greets us
over the lake
and we know
we are the same

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©2023 David Kristjanson-Gural
All rights reserved

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