Posted in Jamie Dedes, Perspectives on Cancer, Poems/Poetry

PERSPECTIVE ON CANCER #5: Done and Not Done Yet

DONE

by

Jamie Dedes

·

Click on the post title for the poem to lay out properly.

·

I watched it all over my friend’s dear shoulder,

that day of living and dying and celebrating

like a garden snake the shedding of the skin,

the detritus of material man with its hunger and

wild, woody creative soul, sketching ruby-jeweled

memories in sand to be blown like a Tibetan mandala

across Timelessness while he, lone monk, gripped

by systems on systems of hospital wiring, billing,

approvals, and laws around funerals and burials,

estates, plans, and proposals for headstones and

the where, when, and how of a memorial service,

the left-overs of his life to be sorted, stashed, stored

or sent  to the right people in the right places. Done!

… as though there had been nothing. No one.

♥♥♥♥

NOT DONE YET

* Dedicated to my Group for People With Life-Threatening Illness*

A Chinese advertisement based on a true story . . . Sounds strange, but go ahead and give it a chance …

Thanks Laurel! 🙂

Posted to YouTube by .

Photo credit – flowers at Filoli Garden by Parvathy

Jamie Dedes ~ Jamie is a former freelance feature writer and columnist whose topic specialties were employment, vocational training, and business. She finds the blessing of medical retirement to be more time to indulge in her poetry, creative nonfiction, and fiction. She has two novels in progress, one in final edits, and is pulling together a poetry collection. Her primary playground is Musing by Moonlight. She is the founder and editor/administrator of Into the Bardo. Jamie’s mother, Zbaida, was diagnosed with cancer the first time at thirty-six. Zabida went three rounds with breast cancer, one with thyroid cancer, and died at seventy-six of breast and colon cancer.

♥♥♥♥

THE RIVER PAPER

is out today.

The theme is Buddhism.

You’ll find some interesting pieces there including a

short piece that I wrote on Buddhist poets in the West. Jamie

♥♥♥♥

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Posted in Jamie Dedes, Poems/Poetry

PROVIDENCE OR FOLLY

·

PROVIDENCE OR FOLLY

by

Jamie Dedes

With gullible hazel eyes fringed in black lace

she looked out at the world.

With ears tuned to pulpit and street

she mistook . . .

. . . love for wisdom

. . . suffering for sanctity

. . . sex for intimacy

. . . saccharine for sincerity.

Because she endured,

she thought she was strong.

She took the tarnished confines

of her dark, singular world

for the broad vision of her god.

Living by accident,

she died on purpose.

Photo credit ~ Statue of a Young Nude Woman by Andrew Schmidt, Public Domain Pictures.net.

Posted in Jamie Dedes, Poems/Poetry

IF THE SUN’S TEARS WOULD SING

Butterfly Boy Bronze Statue unveiled at Jane Bancroft Cook Library (Florida), January 28, 2010

Sculptor, Sidney Fagin.

♥ ♥ ♥

I Never Saw Another Butterfly

by Pavel Freidman

The last, the very last,

So richly, brightly, dazzlingly yellow.

Perhaps if the sun’s tears would sing

against a white stone. . . .

Such, such a yellow

Is carried lightly ‘way up high.

It went away I’m sure because it wished to

kiss the world good-bye.

For seven weeks I’ve lived in here,

Penned up inside this ghetto.

But I have found what I love here.

The dandelions call to me

And the white chestnut branches in the court.

Only I never saw another butterfly.

That butterfly was the last one.

Butterflies don’t live in here,

in the ghetto.

♥ ♥ ♥

Pavel Friedmann was born in Prague on January 7, 1921. He was deported to Terezin on April 26, 1942 and later to Auschwitz, where he died on September 29, 1944. At least 960,000 Jews were killed in Auschwitz. Other victims included approximately 74,000 Poles, 21,000 Roma (Gypsies), and 15,000 Soviet prisoners of war; and 10,000-15,000 members of other nationalities (Soviet civilians, Czechs, Yugoslavs, French, Germans, and Austrians). Women, men, children.

One day, I was engrossed in a writing project, which will probably take more than a few years to complete.  The story  involves some of the great art pieces that were stolen by the Nazis during World War II and how some of those pieces have now been restored to the families from which they came. As I juggle multiple writing projects with higher priority, I usually am only able to devote several hours a week to this particular project.

As I did my research, I came across this poignant poem, made even more so by the circumstances of the young poet’s death. I’d never read it before. I became curious about Pavel and the poem. The poem, sandwiched between Pavel’s birth and murder, tell us most of what we can find out about him. I found the photo of the Butterfly Boy sculpture pictured above with its creator. The statue was inspired by the poem. I also found that a book was published, . . . I Never Saw Another Butterfly . . . , which has children’s’ drawings and poems from theTerezin Concentration Camp 1942-1944. One of the many insults of this camp was that it was set up to make Red Cross inspectors think that prisoners were being treated humanely. In fact, some 200,000 passed through this camp, known as the “waiting room for Auschwitz.” 97,297 died. 15,00o were children.

So, no. No I didn’t stay on task that day, but some detours can be moving and instructive. I think it’s worth sharing this one with you today. I’d like to say it’s posted “lest we forget.” But we have forgotten. Or, maybe we just don’t care. Genocides continue.

Terezin Children’s Cantata has posted nine of the poems from this book.

Book cover, . . . I never saw another butterly . . ., copyrighted, posted under fair use.

♥ ♥ ♥

Posted in Guest Writer, Poems/Poetry

PASS IT ON

Morning, poet/blogger  and founder of Thursday Poets Rally and Jingle Poetry (now Gooseberry Garden, which includes Sunday Poetry Picnic) is responsible for uniting and encouraging hundreds of poets online. This sweet simple acrostic poem efficiently encompasses the Buddhist spirit of metta (loving kindness) and expresses the internal joy that is quintessentially Morning. Please enjoy … J.D.

K IS FOR KINDNESS

by

Morning

(copyright 2011, all rights reserved)

Kindness is a cool attitude
It enlightens one’s aptitude
Never overlook its power
Don’t be rude, for a moment or an hour.
Nothing is as precious as kindness
Everyday one must shows mindfulness
Stay upbeat
Sweet dreams, never cheat.

·

Illustration ~ courtesy of Morning

·

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RIVER URKE, Poet and Writer

RIVER URKE, American Poet and Writer

River Urke lives in Minnesota with her daughter, Willow, and their cat Brownie, dog Odie, and two rats. She lives and loves hugely despite the challenges of MS. 

River is a consultant on Native American culture. Her poems have been published widely. She blogs her poetry at Waabin Ozhibiiwin~ Dawn Writer. You’ll find her articles at Rivers Ruminations and her YouTube Channel at RiverMariaHer work can also be found on MS MuSings, A Monthly Online Magazine by and for those with Multiple Sclerosis. 

River edits The River Paper to which I am a contributing writer effective September 9, 2011. The River Paper is published each Friday.

We’re pleased to introduce River Urke and her work to our readers here … Her photograph and poems are copyrighted and posted on Into the Bardo with permission. J.D.

If you are viewing this on the homepage, you may have to click on the post title to get the poem to layout properly. Thank you!

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Envy

by

River Urke

·

I sit outside the day hospital after my infusion

Feeling shitty

Waiting for my taxi to come

·

I am watching all the people walk by

Focusing on their lower half

Not noticing their faces

·

I begin to feel jealous

Their legs keep pace with each other

Their stride is straight and true

·

I look down at my legs

Imagining them amongst the crowd

In the stream headed west

·

No drunken gait

No dropping foot

·

I mingle in their movement

With a sway to my step

My pace is one with theirs

·

A noise wakes me

The taxi approaches to take me home

I pick up my cane

·

I start to head towards the van

I begin to feel eyes upon me

Looking me up and down

·

I freeze at their thoughts of me

Faces revealing their pity

‘A young woman with a cane’

·

My pride pushes forward

Determined not to give in

·

I raise my head high

Stand myself tall

Again I start towards the van

·

Moving forward in my reality.

©River Urke 3/09

The Crippling Effect by River Urke:

Posted in Jamie Dedes, Poems/Poetry

POPPING POEMS AT MIDNIGHT

Poetry is not a profession, it is a destiny. Mikhail Dudan

·

POPPING POEMS AT MIDNIGHT

by

Jamie Dedes

There must be something about

the witching hour, magic after all,

when – from sound sleep – I so

suddenly awake to the silent

scratching and rough shaking

·

of a poem dropping in, uninvited

and just about fully formed, from

some unnamed peculiar heaven or

hell to disturb the languid luxury of

this rare blue somnolence. A poem

·

from neither the horn nor ivory

gate that snatches me from the

welcome arms of Morpheus, from

the land of Demos Oneiroi*, where

I long – an elegant ache – to return.

·

I chew on it like a baby chews

new food, trying to define shape

and character, to hold the memory

intact until morning when I can –

perhaps – name it. I … repeat it …

·

repeating, repeating, my mind

wrapping itself around the poem

like my arms the pillow, hugging

the  sensation of it, enjoying the

silk and nub and color of it, not

·

willing to let it go, unable to sleep.

At a chill pre-dawn hour, give

up and get up and taking the laptop

in hand, lay out the poem on a fresh

white page, ready post of the day.

·

Demos Oneiroi – the land of dreams

Artwork – Morpheus and Iris by Pierre-Narcisse Guérin, 1811

·

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Posted in Jamie Dedes, Poems/Poetry

PIGEON PIE

Pigeon: (informal) a gullible person, especially someone swindled in gambling or the victim of a confidence trick. Oxford English Dictionary

If you are reading this on the home page, you will have to click on the post title with your mouse so that the poem lays out properly. Thank you!

·

Lives built on pigeon dreams

structured by Madison Avenue

calculated by Wall Street

beribboned  by Hollywood

We take them: these manufactured dreams

one-size-fits-all, straight off the rack . . .

And damn cheap too!

Mad, cannibal pigeon dreams,

turning good minds and whole hearts

into mince

We pray to false economies,

seek deliverance from Cheap Jack*

We buy one, get one free –

And fetch and fetish youth eternal

from face-lifts, Botox™, and boob-jobs –

Exit here:

drugs, alcohol

sex-a-PEAL

en-ter-TAIN-ment.

Get a house, a car, a jewel –

Be the first on your block.

Buy now. Pay later.

Filling the empty with nothing more,

something less . . .

and warehousing our souls, they gather

dust

in public storage . . .

first month free.

Poems unwritten. Songs unsung.

Chumped. Stumped. Petrified.

An all-American Pigeon Pie,

neatly boxed

and wrapped to go.

·

* Cheap Jack – One who sells cheap and second-rate goods. Cheap jack is a slang term for a person who may also be referred to as a “peddler”, “canvasser”, “monger” or “solicitor”. These terms have been in use in England since the 16th century as a derogatory description of traveling salespeople. Investopedia

Photo credit – Lars Konzack, Public Domain Pictures.net.

·

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Posted in Jamie Dedes, Poems/Poetry

EARLY MORNING BLUES

EARLY MORNING BLUES

by

Jamie Dedes

And far into the night he crooned that tune

The stars went out and so did the moon.

The singer stopped playing and went to bed.

While the weary blues echoed through his head.

The Weary Blueby Langston Hughes

·

If you are reading this post on the home page, you will need to click on the post title for the poem to lay out properly.

·

Suddenly conscious, remembering, dread.

Before dawn the worst blues of the day,

those dismal black-blues of a battered heart

Gummy, gloomy blues, tangled in cobwebs

Blues – dispirited as a fatherless girl,

a widower man, a betrayed lover

Blues bereft as the loss of an old friend

Bitter-acid blues that rise in the throat of

a wage-slave, dying by slow suffocation

·

Early Morning Blues . . .

The heavy-hearted blue sludge

that weighs upon the mother with her pink slip

the father with his account overdrawn

The deep, murky sea of blue that swallows up

the homeless man begging, living on the margin

Or the homeless woman sleeping on the street,

crying her cancer pain deep into the night

The sword-in-the-heart blues

of  a family living on trash-bin dinners

The dark, churning brackish blue

of a child’s empty stomach, no food in sight

·

Early Morning Blues . . .

The helpless, hopeless, remorse-filled blues

that come as Time runs out and Eternity beckons

That darkest of hues with shivering slivers

of pewter blue, muting to grey, muting to black

Muting to light fractures in a surface

permeable and permissible, heavenly light

Or so “they” tell me . . .

·

But lost in a sea of light

will “I’ still be?

will “you” still be?

Answer me that.

What is the character of this light?

Matter or myth?

Ah, then, after all, pondering further

I find I really don’t care

I’ll poem the blues and poem my light

until all that’s left of me is what

I’ve left behind . . .

and you?

Will you leave your unwritten

blue poem hanging in the air to be

heard by those few who can?

Or, will you, like Africans of old, paint

yourself blue and boiling tears

dance around the fire and give

birth to the soul of a new art

·

Photo credit ~ Wilfredo R. Rodriguez H. via Wikipedia

♥ ♥ ♥

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MERELY HUMAN

What is staying alive? To possess

A great hall inside a cell.

What is it to be human? by Waldo Williams, Poetry  – April 2008

·

MERELY HUMAN

by

Jamie Dedes

·

finding strength and meaning as we go along,

though often caught in a swirl, dizzy spinning

of our mortality; our gender, time and place –

rash precipitation of preposterous events

and disgraceful cruelty, and the over-heated

flowing of crazy lives and loves, gritty and

grim, yet somehow grace-filled and dauntless –

like weeds pushing up pebbled concrete slabs,

bearing our path’s weight, reaching for the sun

·

Photo credit ~ Jess Norman, Public Domain Pictures.net.

 ·

Posted in Jamie Dedes, Poems/Poetry

I WOULD BE

·

However, nothing is just what it seems to be.

My objects dream and wear new costumes,

compelled to, it seems, by  all the words in my  hands

and the sea that bangs in my throat.

The Room of My Life by Anne Sexton in The Complete Poems of Anne Sexton

I WOULD BE

by

Jamie Dedes

I would be that ancient red rosebush

sitting in meditation beside the creek

that flows near the home-place and

a belt of vacant land, wide-awake wood

·

I would be a thorn-and-thistle-free me,

a cool, soothing fog, a silken river-stone,

or a whiff of magnolia traveling through

dark night on an aquamarine breeze

·

An old hunger rises in me to rest calm

beside the safe harbor of rambling rill,

days writ in gently cautious calligraphy,

mind as empty and conscious as a forest

·

But rosebush and wood endure winter

and the creek its dry-spell, river-stone’s

silken finish is born of the chaffing wave,

the magnolia was felled by the gardener

·

Photo credit ~ Christine Vincent, Public Domain Pictures.net.

·

Posted in Jamie Dedes, Poems/Poetry

FROM THE BEGINNING

Family photo subject to copyright.

·

Every year without knowing it I have passed the day

When the last fires will wave to me

And the silence will set out

For the Anniversary of My Death, W.S. MerwinThe Second Four Books of Poems

FROM THE BEGINNING

by

Jamie Dedes

It was yesterday

that I retrieved my soul at last

moved by the placid persuasion of a psalm

reminding me of my rootedness

in the archives of heaven

 ·

In earlier times

life lay ahead, a rhythm of reciting tones

a paced chant before all that somber news

and facing facts and quiet homely work

of peacemaking for your sake

 ·

But this morning

I awoke a fading mendicant nun

reading my own rich requiem Mass

celebrating my heart’s trove

and your constant love

 ·

A few more breaths

and I’m a whisper in your ear

an old story of someone who birthed you

now melting into the great Forever

leaving us only a hallowed cord

 ·

From the beginning, Son

your spirit was to us a joy dancing

a perfect poem finely etched in old gold

holding fast to beauty and grace

faithful to your own gentle spirit

 ·

Listen to the hollows in the wind.

Listen, Son –

how love encircles and

echoes from the small Beginning  ….

into the great Forever

Posted in Guest Writer, Poems/Poetry

omg rejection letter

Copyright 2011, Charles Martin

Charles Martin blogs at Read Between the Minds. We are pleased to present another of his fine poems on Into the Bardo. J.D.

·

omg rejection letter

by

Charles Martin

·

we regret

to inform you

that your application

for sainthood

has been

denied

please note

this is

no reflection

upon what you’ve been

saying

but

praying for

the poor

the homeless

peace

et cetera

is not

the same as

doing

something

for those individuals

or

areas of concern

your wishful prayers

are indeed

characteristic of

an

admirable personality

and

we appreciate

your frequent

and

considerable

soliloquies with us

but

we’re

rather filled up

with folks

with

good

intentions


Posted in Jamie Dedes, Music, Poems/Poetry

BACH FOR BUDDHA

BACH FOR BUDDHA

by

Jamie Dedes

Sunday morning peace

Icy floors, my begging bowl

and Bach for Buddha

If you click on the video twice, you’ll link through to YouTube to watch it. We apologize for the inconvenienc. Thank you!

Video posted to YouTube by .

Photo credit ~ courtesy of The Buddha Gallery, unusual vintage Chinese monk with offering bowl.

Sarabande ~ began as a dance in triple metre in the 14th century in Central America and evolved in 16th century Europe into a slower musical form. J.S. Bach’s Six Suites for Unaccompanied Cello are perhaps the most recognized solos written for cello and remain among Bach’s most popular works.

Posted in Jamie Dedes, Poems/Poetry

ON SUCH DAYS

Nobody knows who I am or what I do. Not even I.

Don Juan Matus in Journey to Ixtlan by Carlos Castaneda

·

If you are viewing this poem on the home page, you will have to click on the post title for the poem to lay out properly. Thank you!

·

ON SUCH DAYS

by

Jamie Dedes

·

On such days we come crashing at the rough edges

of narrow channels and wide open oceans till we are

caught between moon-sight and sun-gold distortions,

fickle changelings of dark and light and shadows

pregnant with dream demons and wicked illusions

·

How successfully we manage to precipitate chaos in the

hoary hibernation of our soul’s winter, denying the warmth

of our own voice and the god-awful finiti of our bodies,

So here we are, sleep-walking our rocky, rebel road and

serving our spiny poetry like Don Juan his peyote buttons

·

Posted in Guest Writer, Poems/Poetry

don’t let the door . . .

copyright cwmartin 2011

When I stared what was to become my flag-ship blog,  Musing by Moonlighttwo-and-a-half years ago, the first poet-blogger I discovered was Charles Martin. I was so enamoured of his work that I not only started following him regularly, but his was the first poetry site I added to my blogroll.

This particular piece is perhaps my favorite of all Charles’. Enjoy! We plan another post from Charles on Tuesday, July 12, but you can always visit him – and I recommend that you do – at his site, Read Between the Minds. Both the photograph and the poem were created by Charles. J.D.

·

don’t let the door ….

by

Charles Martin

·

after you’ve finished
ranting and raving
about how unfair
life has treated you
and
you’ve
told the last person
who will listen
all your misfortunes
perhaps
on your way out
you could take
a moment
to explain
to the child
in north korea
why they’re
always hungry
and to the ones
in angola
what happened
to their mothers
and fathers
you could even
take a second
out of your miserable day
to tell
the little hmong child
why they’re surrounded
by razor wire
of course
that is
if you
have
time


Posted in Jamie Dedes, Poems/Poetry

POETS AND SAINTS

I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity. Edgar Allen Poe (1809 – 1849), American writer and poet

·

POETS AND SAINTS

by

Jamie Dedes

·

It speaks to them like an old-growth forest

whispering into wise and willing ears.

Or, perhaps it’s cellular memory, ancestors

not silenced by death at all but having their

say along some thread of DNA by which

chaos becomes story becomes chaos again.

Or might it  be some rarely seen insanity.

Check the DSM*, where you’ll find it laid out

grossly defined and oddly diminishing.

No naming stops its quiet ineffable flow, slow

and cool in a fast and overheated world.

·

*DSM Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders

Photo credit ~ Białowieski Park Narodowy in Belarus in Poland courtesy of Ralf Lotys under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported. This is one of the last largely intact primeval forests in Central Europe.

·


Posted in Jamie Dedes, Poems/Poetry

MIND CHATTERED

Oh, the mind is eely, slipping

out of its puzzle boxes,

loving its own wit . . . 

Mind/Body by Gregory DjanikianPoetry Magazine, April 2000

·

MIND CHATTERED

by

Jamie Dedes

·

mind in chatter mode will do you in

like a car without a driver,

a good tool gone rogue

it will numb you with its burden of

old stories and wishing wells

could have beens, should have beens

crowd pleasers and ego teasers

·

it will desecrate your sacred space

with the rotting carcass of old resentments

tired rivalries, rigid renunciations

it will domesticate your dreamscape with

the dreck of times gone by and

tedious, trivial, trumpery thinking

·

it will leech and parch your soul garden

which would otherwise shout vivid

with rainbow flowers and the scents

of night-blooming jasmine, fresh morning dew

and a rose quartz blush of air current

for traveling to spring valleys, bright stars

·

with mind in chat mode trapped in earthy ken

your most wonderous inner worlds go sadly

unimagined and unexplored and you –

you, fully chattered, shattered, scattered

will never even know

·

Illustration ~  Frits Ahlefeldt, Public Domain Pictures.net.

Posted in Jamie Dedes, Poems/Poetry

LONE BIRD

In February 1966,  flood waters north of Ma’an, in Jordan, brought down into the Hasa Valley near Petra a single dying specimen of the species called Struthio Camelus Syriacus -the ostrich or, as the Chinese call it, the Camel Bird of Arabia. Since no ostriches had been seen on the Arabian Peninsula since 1941, the unexpected appearance of even one specimen gave hope to some optimists that these ostriches – which once roamed freely through Arabia—were not extinct but in hiding. MORE [Aramco World Magazine]

·

LONE BIRD

by

Jamie Dedes

nests raided

fellows slaughtered

webbed walk a bit slower

beaked breathing a bit harder

feathers thinning, damp

eyes clouded

drifting on life’s waters

ancient memories locked in cells as

wispy dreams, cloudy visions

unpredicted pleasures, comforts

a woody bush still green

a flourish of flower that dances

lonely shelter, secluded

some food, some water, some young

like the bush, she survives

like the flower, she dances

like the seawater that pours from the clouds

she returns from crisis

life goes on

endurance is its own reward

lone bird lives

·

Photo credit ~ Ann Cervova, Public Domain Pictures.net.