The grey heron lingers… | Carla Scarano D’Antonio

Tightening in / Losing out

Honeysuckles beam in a tantrum / we share mortality / calculate the distance // the restrictions of the virus allow no nostalgia/emissions thicken / coughing // the sun blinding / incongruous spring hibernation / shift to pretended colder weather // long for a haircut, a hug / the spell of loss / the peacefulness of surrendering to unchangeable rules / fragments of freedom // occasional gusts of wind whisper secrets / wild beauty of magnolia petals rot on the pavement // kiss me and promise to come back when peonies bloom

Built to match existing, architectural plans

After ‘Diary,’ Rosa Lyster, LRB 7 October 2021

Built to match what remains of the house
after hurricane Laura,
lifting the roof like a lid
and driving a tree through the kitchen wall.

October is hurricane season,
bodies of water through the window: the Mississippi.
Water reflects the rain clouds above,
people stand around in chest-high floods

trying to return everything to its former state.
But they say it is best to stay away,
there are too many things in the water
that will kill you.

Your belongings destroyed;
they will never go back.

I don’t mind failing in this world

I don’t mind failing in this world,
there is so much to do
like boiling an egg or rediscovering a favourite scarf
that went missing.

I don’t mind failing in this world,
the days wake around me
the rain arrives soft
and the wind is gentle.

I don’t mind failing in this world,
I watch the clouds creating figures,
the grammar of imagination
catches the winter sun.

Coffee is warm in the morning,
my hands brimful of gleaming stones.

You are not supposed to be rude

sensations of spectacular germination   
a sincere glow of oxygen                       

tie your hair up                                      
wear the apron and the cap                    
in the monsoon scenario                        
sensitivity of nutrition and excretion     

gnarled lock at the back gate                 
the depth of the quarry                          
explode in the tasteless whale               
at the margin of the swamp
the growth and move of living things

tuck your shirt in
hand gel   ventilation
infinite reproduction of simple stem cells
the music of the cymbals
how many woodpeckers would make spring?

let the office know
abysmal trophies
the homeless athlete

On giving up

On giving up

‘the idea of giving up figures in our lives, as a perpetual lure and an insistent fear.’
Adam Phillips, ‘On Giving Up,’ LRB 06/01/2022

The option of giving up 
thoughts progress
to final decision

Giving up 
up up up
leaving ourselves out
sense of impossibility
lack of orientation

Giving up 
makes us fearful
aware of limitations
proud of the abandonment

Giving up 
sabotage capacities
resist fulfilment
and ideals
deny survival

Giving up 
desires and pleasures
withdraw from sufferings

up up up
a jerky path 
of terminal disillusionment

The delay of summer

New things to die of were being added each day…
Sheila Heti, Pure Colour

Winter comes and goes
the wind is still fierce
snow piles in the streets
on corpses with hands tied up behind.
I can see faces freckled with green scars
dotted in scarlet
looking like action painting.

At the back of my shoulders
the sun spreads its warmth.
My bones feel the desperate calls.
Can you hear them?
Can you hear them?
They scrape luminosity in underground shelters.
The first draft of the conflict
is not progressing
into a final draft.

The enumeration of atrocities
I can see.
I can see the dandelion
upright in the cold
then closing in a withered bud.
The yellowness of the summer yet to come
will ever disclose its brilliancy this year?

The grey heron lingers near the lake
like a sacrilege, 
wildflowers resist the delay of summer,
water reflects fractured walls.

©2022 Carla Scarano D’Antonio
All rights reserved

Carla Scarano D’Antonio…

…lives in Surrey with her family. She obtained her Master of Arts in Creative Writing at Lancaster University and has published her creative work in various magazines and reviews. Her short collection Negotiating Caponata was published in July 2020 by Dempsey & Windle. She completed her PhD degree on Margaret Atwood’s work at the University of Reading and graduated in April 2021.

Website / Blog


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