The BeZine’s Farewell

Stones occupy where my heart should feel light, heavy stones. After almost making it through ten years, The BeZine must now say, “good-bye.” Due to changes in the lives of our editorial team and some of our contributors; losses of our Founder, Jamie Dedes,and one of our guiding lights, Michael Rothenberg; and my own failing ability to find the energy to carry this project on my shoulders— in consultation with the editorial team, after agonizing considerations, I have decided to stop publishing The BeZine.

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I was a high school student during The Chicago 8 trial (who became The Chicago 7 after Bobby Seale was removed to a separate trial). One of, maybe the first, demonstration I took part in was when a friend of mine skipped school and took the train into Chicago from the comfortable suburb where I grew up. We spent the day joining thousands of others who marched through the streets protesting the trial.

Early last year, I was on the streets of Jerusalem (where I now live), protesting an unreasonable and undemocratic “judicial reform” legislative package that would have subjugated the judicial branch to Executive-Legislative whim. Those who objected saw it as a judicial coup, as the new laws sought to replace rule of law with the political will of the ruling coalition of parties. It seemed that my life had come a circle, back in the streets in my late 60s protesting. However, it also like wheel spinning in mud.

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The horrific 7th October attack by Hamas stopped those protests. The organizers turned immediately—literally on the day of the attack—to organizing housing, food, clothing, medicines, and whatever else the displaced people from the attacked areas needed. They worked to help medical supplies got to those caring for the wounded.

The resulting war in Gaza has been escalated by the same group of ministers who had been pushing for the judicial coup. They have made public statements about Israel taking over Gaza, about moving the Gazans out. They make no secret of their racism and their desire to remove Arabs from Israel without any wish to acknowledge the need for Palestinians to have self-determination via their own state. They make statements that can only be interpreted as genocidal, although a minority even within the extreme-right wing coalition that support Bibi Netanyahu.

All of that death and destruction so close to me, but other than rocket attacks during the first week or two of this war and during the Iranian strike on Israel, Jerusalem remains relatively quiet. A privileged position, where life goes on almost as normal. But it doesn’t go on as normal. The deaths of hostages taken and held by Hamas—who did not follow the international court order to release them as soon as possible—and the tens of thousands of deaths of Gazan combatants and civilians—cloud the horizons of my thoughts.

The wheels spin deeper and deeper. The faster they spin, the larger the hole, the less likely progress will move forward.

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Why do I write of this when my topic is the closing of The BeZine? The whole time I have been involved with The BeZine, I have lived in Jerusalem. I came to The BeZine because Jamie Dedes, its founding editor, read my book of poem, War Surrounds Us (Is a Rose Press 2015), about the 2014 Hamas-Israel conflagration. She wrote a review and interviewed me (read the review and interview here). She then invited me to contribute to The BeZine, followed by a contributing editor role as I helped with producing The BeZine.

And here we are again, that wheel, that circle. Each turn moves me to a darker place, a sense of failing to make a difference. And as illness, divorce, and life’s demands (things like making a living, for example) have drained our editorial team, I have not had the energy to do The BeZine alone and the team has not been able to help.

After deep and long consideration, and an attempt to try again after a two-issue hiatus, an attempt mostly obscured for me by the latest and most deadly iteration of the Hamas-Israel war, we have decided to stop publishing. We think The BeZine brought light to our readers and contributors, we hope that leaving it online as an archive of reading will continue to spread that light.

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However, I take responsibility, that I don’t have the energy needed at this time to do this project, and without me, the others feel that they can’t continue, either. Yet, I also took this on and hoped to continue with it until another was ready to take my place. I didn’t do enough to build our team—Jamie was good and bringing new people and new energy in almost every issue. I didn’t have that skill so much.

Meanwhile, I will continue to do what I can. We have planted a container garden on our balcony with flowers, kitchen herbs, and some vegetables. We’re even growing turmeric, a beautiful plant with delicious tuberous roots that both provide spice. A praying mantis has made a home for the past week on a vine almost as bright green as it is. Bees and other pollinators visit. A French-Swiss friend of mine told me this is called a “bracket of peace” in French. May we all nurture brackets of peace, and be nurtured by them.

I hope to arrange another 100 Thousand Poets for Change event during the Jewish holiday of Sukkot. This continues an activity that also connect Jamie and me.

I write very little, but I do write some. I will keep at it as I can find words, or as words find me. I am, however, unusually reticent during this time.

I don’t have the energy I once did. But from what energy I have, I will put some into arts-activism, to pursuing the four themes of The BeZine — sustainability, peace, social justice, and their intersections with spiritual life.

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Now, I personally thank the editorial team members who worked hard and supported me in putting each issue out, the regular and occasional contributors who provided the literature and art to fill our issues, the many regular readers, and everyone who has visited the site, even if only once—and I say, warmly, fare thee well.

May you continue to find energy, faith, support for making the world better. Perhaps you will find inspiration in this incredible body of work that The BeZine has published over its (nearly a) decade. May we all find the spark we need to continue our journeys.

May Peace Prevail on Earth

—Michael Dickel, former publisher and editor of The BeZine

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©2024 Michael Dickel
All rights reserved

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