Pulling Myself Up

out in the cold
wanting to find a way up
a way out

this wasn’t how my life was supposed to be
I lost my balance and fell
now no one wants to help me up

I am not the person I once was
but I am not the person people think I am
I can stretch
I can move
I can help myself up

I just have to figure out how to make something
of what I have
and who I am
and what sense I can make of the world.

If I have to do that alone, so be it.
if I can find someone who has walked that path
and will show me how, so be it.
But I will do it.

—Lana Phillips

© 2015, poem, Lana Phillips, All rights reserved


The focus of "The BeZine," a publication of The Bardo Group Beguines, is on sacred space (common ground) as it is expressed through the arts. Our work covers a range of topics: spirituality, life, death, personal experience, culture, current events, history, art, and photography and film. We share work here that is representative of universal human values however differently they might be expressed in our varied religions and cultures. We feel that our art and our Internet-facilitated social connection offer a means to see one another in our simple humanity, as brothers and sisters, and not as “other.” This is a space where we hope you’ll delight in learning how much you have in common with “other” peoples. We hope that your visits here will help you to love (respect) not fear. For more see our Info/Mission Statement Page.

One thought on “Pulling Myself Up

  1. I like that your writing, even when outraged, contains both defiance and hope. In this poem, I like these line:

    “…I am not the person people think I am
    I can stretch
    I can move
    I can help myself up”


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