secrets have an audience
1 while we’re busy romanticizing the softer side of things well-disguised vibes disregard the countless beings made into (numb)ers favoring an unawakened righteous feeling through a façade that denies inner reality nurturing the phallic identity of war 2 she is little bits of earth scattered bits of belonging an appropriation for those who take feeling nothing is taken because it is paid for to feed a selfish desire that places her to burn underneath a halo of fire creating the compartmentalized as we stigmatize in the quiet and unitedly reject her unconscious—while busy chasing false ideals searching for pretty in politics as connoisseurs of fixation with introspection gingered by the allure, continue to devour her shell with blades of combative motivation that takes no accountability, as we all inadvertently fuck her 3 she reads Hello Universe in old bunny slippers lives in an agricultural area sits on the porch reading hears a diminutive echo it is the year of another great pandemic and other distractions from the millions starving for one reason or another however, much less critical than the societal incubator or the soccer game as the shadow in a white van uses a burner phone three days, three rooms a ringing in the ear that means more as you look away from the empty swing swaying 4 a temperamental questioning of the self remembering it grew past two months a choice sucked into the symbolic a static feeling remains refusing to breed as it parallels a vision even if it means killing the unborn seed to not throw away hope for a child that is already someone a twelve-year-old locked inside a small dark apartment getting used by an endless stream ____,______,________,__________, as it pours from your daughter in the arms of your son 5 the majority continue connected to the mask killing a turkey and then sending a card with a contented one on it eating a pig and calling it pork their teeth pulled out as the mother watches them squeal buying a stuffed bear for the child while purchasing its bile; they are bred and tortured we treat our animals as we treat each other but this isn’t what we want to hear most will deny it has meaning—desensitized it has feelings nearby, a widowed Arab mother with eight sons must reveal herself to strange men in a place where she is no longer a wife there are no brothers, no uncles no man to claim her so she removes her hijab to feed her children inadvertently teaching her sons about their “brothers” with this allegory, for most is not as it appears but it’s not our country, not our home not our irony, so we willfully swallow it like “meat” ignoring the rape of another number—an accepted behavior as we slumber instead of reaching beyond the pale 6 diagonal, horizontal, vertical the lines we hide in the lines we love between the lines we point from these lines play us clogging internal processes clinging to us as belief that keeps us hunting and hostile regard safe inside our cumulative womb trafficking the guns gunning us down while bound in an addiction town 7 a vignette rotting a fostered feeling a male-centric mainstream a movie she wishes could be unseen a floret falling apart petal lips cascading as we skate through the details infested with dark limbic thoughts the egregore overidentifies with form trapping her in a sea of sharks disconnecting from impending matters coded for the untrained eye lulling inborn wisdom back to sleep that serves the omniscient streams bribing the scribe with the felicitous mind before the eye traverses the den to make Laureate’s paper words mean nothing because she doesn’t know she is, too, prey as another stately white man uses rubbers on a mattress with one thin, dirty sheet 8 we all want to be in an uplifted state with a God that makes us feel safe and entertained while we shoot semi-automatics to kill the seed, we do not call our own it is part of cancer’s permeative conditioning the Dubble Bubble happening around the globe as we say, “It’s not me, it’s them. It’s there, not here.” as the lights blink on and off in the small dark apartment in our mind 9 deliberate (u)niverse we are it pretending to be a _____________ an absent black moon a carnivore awakening fromdarknessspringsthelight (interpretations of the comforts of [personal] space) the church / the temple / the sanctuary / the synagogue the mosque / the pagoda / the gate / the abattoir (words for the same thing): within psychological death a surrendered state creates space deeper than thought a sleeping infant in my arms the win win even in trauma and sticky situations gathering the momentum of the tormented and tormentor in the house built by metaphor aligning consequences with reflections of truth in dimension deeper than possession entwined in the silence of secrets that have an audience
Poem ©2022 Adrian Voss
All rights reserved
…lives with her family in Colorado. She is an artist, teacher, and emerging writer with a few published pieces online and a children’s book. The poem submitted is from a full-length collection entitled, The Small Dark Apartment. The work explores uncomfortable aspects within the silence of the collective mainstream. Adrian strives to bring life elements to the surface to push past deceptive illusions and create more light.